Denise Duffield-Thomas

The Secret to Completely Eliminating Guilt from Your Life

How many times a week do you think or say "I feel so guilty"?

Based on my totally unscientific but highly observant study of women all around the world, I'd say a lot. Women from all socio-economic backgrounds, introverts and extroverts alike all experience this yucky squirmy feeling on a frequent basis.

And about some really random stuff that in the grand scheme of things, doesn't matter a bit.

Why the hell are we feeling so guilty all of the time?

It got me thinking - how much of our day is consumed with feeling guilty over inconsequential things and why is it we feel equally guilty over things we have control over vs no control?

Weird right?

Stop Being Such a Know It All + Become a Genius Instead

Are you one of those people who are kinda good at everything you try? Ok, let's be frank here - you're really awesome at most stuff. 

In my corporate career, it was always "Ask Denise, she'll know!" (Even if I didn't know, I could figure it out and move time + space to do it on-time). I get emails from friends saying "Can you help me with... " and I always answer even when it's something totally random. Can you relate?

I see this a lot in clients because I tend to attract very multi-talented people who are passionate about everything. Jill of all trades types who are very smart cookies (like you!). 

However, I'm calling a stop to it.

It was fun being Little Miss Know it All in High School, but in real life, you don't get a gold star, you get exhaustion, scattered focus and a creeping dissatisfaction because you're not living in your zone of genius.

Ladies, Can We Talk Honestly About Weight + Money?

I've had an incredible realisation recently about how intertwined money and weight are for women. My money mentor Kendall Summerhawk said recently, How you do money is how you do everything and I thought, ok - if that's true, how does my money situation relate to how I am about food?

Holy shizzle.

So many parallels, it's hard to keep up:

I always over-ate at buffets, anxious to get my "money's worth", went through feast and famine cycles where I either ate pure green raw food or complete and utter rubbish. I stuffed in food for a variety of reasons - because I was bored, tired, sad, mad or otherwise "off".

I always had to eat everything on my plate and ate and ate... and ate without feeling satisfied. I felt so jealous of friends who could eat whatever they wanted, didn't overeat and had great bodies. I wish I could undo all the crappy food I'd eaten in the past and have it's effect on my body instantly wiped out. I felt like a healthy relationship to food or my weight eluded me.

and in money....

I got into debt because I spent money I didn't have, feeling anxious about getting my "money's worth" when buying things, had present anxiety (buying for other people), had feast or famine cycles where I earned money and then spent it just as quickly. I bought random things because I was bored, tired, sad, mad or otherwise "off".

I was never comfortable with having money in my bank account, because I felt like I had to make up for lost time (when I didn't have any), but spending it wasn't satisfying either. I felt jealous of friends who earned great money in their jobs and could spend it with ease on nice things. I wish I could undo all the times I spent money but didn't enjoy it and have my debts instantly wiped out. I felt like being rich (or even just earning a "decent wage") eluded me.

Deep down, I thought I could only be rich when I was skinny.
Otherwise I didn't deserve it.

My food issues were clear to see on my butt, but my money issues were somewhat hidden. Just having these realisations shone a light and I gave myself permission to overcome both at the same time.

After all, if one shifted, the other might too, right?

I decided to forgive myself for my actions around both food and money. I cleared my past. I decided that I am enough. I realised that there is always more when I need it. I did a shit-load of transformational work around myself....

And the results have been incredible.

An Inspiring Woman You NEED to Know

Growing up in a small beach town, I didn't have any entrepreneurial mentors. My idea of a successful business woman somehow involved wearing a fancy suit with massive shoulder-pads but despite not knowing any myself, I was a BORN entrepreneur.

My first business was selling fluro wristbands I made out of wetsuit material cut-offs. I bought bags of the material for $2 and I sold the bands for... $2. Making no profit. Um, numbers weren't my strong suit okay, I was only 9.

My second business was selling counterfeit celebrity letters for $5. I pretended that Kylie Minogue was my cousin (she's not) and I made the letters with the awesome electric Olivetti typewriter my mum got me for Christmas (best. present. EVER). 

I had a string of failed business ideas (dating coach? network marketing? real estate trainer?)  until my late twenties when I suddenly found the world of online marketing. At first I went to the usual pitch fest events and male-dominated rah-rah seminars, until I realised I didn't want to do business like the guys do. 

I didn't want to sell a bunch of crap online to just anyone. It didn't sit well with me.

Thanks to my first ever business coach, Karen Knowler, I was introduced to amazing entrepreneurial women like Ali Brown, Kendall Summerhawk and Fabienne Fredrickson. They taught me everything about putting together a business with heart and integrity. When I heard Ali Brown talk about becoming a millionaire by age 35, I cried. She created it all herself from scratch and it opened my mind to what was truly possible for me.

And then last year, another game changer entered my life.

Shit Life Coaches Say

I say shit like this all the time.

via the gorgeous ladies, Amy Smith and Andrea Owen at THE SELF-LOVE REVOLUTION http://TheSelfLoveRevolution.com

Amy at www.thejoyjunkie.com

Andrea at www.yourkickasslife.com

Nice one ladies - wish I got off my ass to do it first!

xx Denise